Friday June 01, 2018
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Friday June 01, 2018
Dynamics of a healthy marriage.
Marriage is a very sacred institution however nowadays you see many couples facing issues in their marriages leading them to end up crumbling badly. The root of these unsuccessful marriages more often than not is something very trivial but somehow expands into a very unsolvable dispute resulting in a divorce and thus destroying the lives of several people in the process. Islam has defined marriage as a contract in which there are two parties and both parties are to fulfill the rights of each other; a husband has to ensure he is fulfilling the rights of his wife which have clearly been defined in the Quran while a wife is to ensure she is fulfilling the rights of her husband.
“O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.” (Surah Nisa: 1)
At times marriage may feel like work but if every individual works towards these 5 basic things, a lot of marriages can easily transform into happy ones and give both the individuals involved some peace of mind.
Compromise is a requirement of every single relationship, be it that of a mother-daughter, father-son, or even one with your friends. Compromising does not mean you lose the fight/argument or that you are inferior to your spouse. It just means that you love the person so much that you are willing to forego any disagreements you might have with him/her. Compromise is something that should come both ways. If your spouse has compromised on something once, the next time you both are of opposing opinions, you can acquiesce with what he/she is saying and subsequently avoid a huge fight.
Every individual deserves respect. It is natural that if you treat the other person with respect, you’ll receive it in return. So form respect as the basis of your relationship. Give them the respect you want for yourself. Respect your spouse, their decisions, their privacy and their presence.
Show your spouse that you care for him/her through small gestures. Sometimes the smallest gesture on your part can turn around the other person’s day. Give your partner a smile or compliment him/her frequently. Talk to him/her at the end of the day asking them about their day so that they know you care about them. Show your concern for them and ensure that your words do not hurt them.
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Quran 30:21)
There should be a balance of power in every marriage. Both husband and wife should exercise equal power- there should be no concept of superiority or inferiority. The moment one person tries to be superior to the other that is where the problems begin.
The last and the most important point is to remember Allah (SWT). If you remember Allah (SWT) and pray to him to keep any evil away from you and your spouse, everything will eventually fall into place and your relationship will blossom into a successful one. And remember you are in it to please Allah (SWT)!
Marriage is a bond which requires equal effort from both husband and wife. Both individuals must work hard at it. Just like any other relationship you might face it challenging at times. However, if you inculcate the 5 things mentioned above in your marriage, everything will be much easier. Most importantly, you should implement these things yourself and not wait for your respective spouses to do so, take the initiative and they will surely follow suit. You have to be the source of strength for each other!