All of us are judgmental to a certain extent and with social media tools at our dispense, we do not even think once before voicing our opinion. It doesn’t matter whether the person we are judging is right or wrong, whether the gossip about that person is true or not, we just have to call that person out on his/her actions. By calling the other person out exactly what are we hoping to achieve? Do we sincerely want to help that person from going astray? If we really care about that person and believe that they are at wrong, the best way we can help them is through Dua or to lead by example i.e. be the person you want others to be.
We see people slandering other people’s characters, posting mean comments about them and commenting on their physical attributes. Slandering other people’s characters and pointing fingers on them without any proof is a sin of its own.
When you were propagating it with your tongues, and uttering with your mouths that whereof you had no knowledge, you counted it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great. (Quran 24: 15)
Furthermore, many people make fun of the physical attributes of people judging them on the basis of their physical appearance. Everyone has physical flaws, everyone knows about them and feels insecure about them. So if you call a person out on being ugly or having a physical flaw, imagine how you would feel if someone called you out on your insecurity.
At times, we honestly want to stop this judgment police within us but we just can't. We all know that inner struggle. So here are a few things you can do to put that judgment to rest. Whenever you are about to judge someone, think about these things and hopefully you won’t be quick to judge that person.
1. Take a minute or two and think about all the flaws in yourself and focus on correcting them instead.
2. Give the other person the benefit of doubt that they might be facing personal struggles of their own and your judgment will only make matters worse for them. Everyone is going through a struggle of their own. You don’t know the real reason behind their actions.
3. Your judgment might make that person more inclined towards committing the very act you are judging them against. Reverse psychology works in amazing ways.
4. Imagine yourself in the place of that person. How would you feel if the same judgment was being passed at you?
5. Don’t be quick to judge the other person. That person might be on the learning path. The thing you’re judging them on might be the next step in that learning curve and your judging might discourage them from pursuing the straight way, leading them to go astray.
6. There is a clear difference between judging someone and bringing them to the right path. The idea behind judging others has no positive intent behind it. If you were to honestly bring someone closer to the Book of Allah you would do it without any judgment.
7. Focus on inspiring others rather than forcing them. If you look at the life of our beloved Prophet (PBUH), people converted to Islam by seeing his impeccable character. He did not judge or force anyone. Since we also aspire to be like him, we should also not judge anyone.
8. Every time you judge someone, find a flaw in yourself and make a resolution to work on eliminating it.
9. If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything bad about them either.
10. The best way to refrain from judging someone is to mind your own business. Simply keep to yourself.
In today’s age we are so quick to judge others, forming strong opinions about them that we forget the impact these opinions might have on the person being judged. We take one person, place him/her on a pedestal and character shame that person, completely forgetting our own flaws in this sudden bout of self-righteousness. Be it a celebrity, a relative or a friend, please refrain from judging others and indulging in mindless gossip. Try to be an example of who you want others to be. Islam teaches us to be tolerant and patient.
Every Muslim should work on attaining these values. This will not only benefit the society but on a personal level you will feel better and happier as you do not have any hate built inside of you.
