The Dos and Don'ts of a Funeral

Every living being has a limited time on earth and death is the inevitable reality that everyone has to face one day. This makes it imperative for us to know the things we may or may not do while attending a funeral so we can send the departed soul on to the next world surrounded by prayers and ease the suffering of the loved ones left behind. Funerals are not only a social obligation but also the transference of a soul from this world onto the next. They are as much for the dead, as they are for the living, that is, the deceased’s next of kin, family, and friends.

The Quran and Sunnah together guide us through all phases of life and teach us how to act in certain situations. It follows that there must be certain rules and obligations for attending someone’s funeral. This article will take you through the guidelines on how to deal with death and the process of burial.



Hearing about a person’s death

First, as soon as one hears of a person’s death or sees it, one must say al-istirja, a short dua on the behalf of the deceased:

"Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un
 
[Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return]." (Al-Quran 2:156)

The feeling of grief and remorse for the person who passed away and for the close relatives and friends he/she left behind is a natural feeling. However, while it is permissible for the living to cry and mourn in the initial stages of the news, this is only allowed for three days. After the passing of these three days of mourning, a believer is expected to have ‘Sabr’ (patience) and seek Allah’s mercy for the deceased as well as for oneself.



Burial of the deceased

The burial should take place soon after the death of the individual, following the ‘ghusl’ and cleansing of the body. There should be minimum delay with the burial and funeral preparations.The Prophet (PBUH) is known to have said:

"Hasten the funeral rites."
 
(Sahih Al-Bukhari vol. 2, p. 225, #401; Sahih Muslim, vol. 2, p. 448, #2059)

After the body is taken to the mosque, the funeral prayer, that is Salat al-Janazah, takes place. If a person living in a community passes away, all members of the community should attend his/her funeral prayers. The prayers should be offered in preferably three rows.


What is forbidden?

Wailing and Self-Harm

It is understandable that it may be difficult for a person to control one’s feelings and emotions on the death of someone. However, the Holy Prophet (PBUH) forbade wailing as well as self-harm in the form of striking one’s cheeks and tearing clothes etc. He categorized such acts as acts of the disbelievers because the act signifies questioning of Allah’s (SWT) Divine Will. The Prophet (PBUH) said: (Al-Bukhari, vol. 2, p. 213, #379; Muslim, vol. 2, p. 439, #2015)

"Verily the dead are punished in their graves by the wailing of their family over them."

What is permissible?

Uncover the face of the deceased and kiss it

The attendees of the funeral are allowed to uncover the face of the deceased and kiss the face as it is considered Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH). (Sunan Abi Dawud vol. 2, p. 898, #3157, Sunan Ibn Majah vol. 2, p. 371, #1456).

Crying

Mourning and crying for the deceased is allowed for a maximum period of three days in Islam. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) waited for three days after the death of Hazrat Jafar to visit his family and then said: "Do not cry for my brother after today." (Abu Dawud, vol. 3, p. 1165, #4180).

Patience

The real test of a believer’s patience is when a calamity strikes. Allah (SWT) instructs the family and friends of the deceased to be patient and graciously accept that whatever happened was Allah’s (SWT) Will and He is the best of planners.
 
"Verily I will test you with fear and hunger, and loss of wealth, life, and the fruit (of your labour), so give glad tidings to the patient ones." (Al-Qur'an 2:155) 

Talk about the good deeds of the deceased

Those who have had a close relation with the departed, be it family, or a friend, or a neighbor, should all take a moment and remember him for his good deeds and tell others about it as well.
"For any Muslim who dies and four of his close neighbors testify that they have known him to be good, Allah-the Blessed, the Highest, will say: 'I have accepted your testimony and forgiven him for what you do not know about.”(Ahkam al-Jana'iz, pp. 45-66)

Death is a reality of life and funerals should serve as a reminder that this life is only temporary. Each one of us has to return to our Lord one day so we must prepare well for the ultimate test on the Day of Judgment and gather any and every virtue that we can.